Hello to my non-existant readers!! How have you been? Probably anxiously awaiting the next installment to this series.
I’ve been alright, thanks for asking. Besides my almost constant anxiety and depression and my intense gender confusion, I’ve been alright. I graduated college, I’m living with my mom, I’ve started working as a real professional ~writer~, and I’m in therapy. Fun stuff.
This month has been especially fun because it is PRIDE MONTH! Rainbows and queers galore. I went to Boston Pride with one of my best friends, and it was great. Being around so many of my people made me feel so validated and happy.
I thought I would bring back this series of my heinous drawings with a BANG: why not draw some of my favorite ~celeb~ LGBTQ+ humans?? And that’s exactly what I did.
As usual, I tried my darndest to draw the pictures to be EXACT COPIES of the photographs. Also, as usual, everything went terribly awry.
DISCLAIMER: If any of the people I drew for this post sees these drawings (however unlikely that is) I apologize for making you unrecognizable aliens.
Without further ado, let’s get into this.
This is me and my friend Jackie at Boston Pride! So I guess we aren’t ~celebs~ as you would normally think of the word, but when I told Jackie I was drawing her for this post she said that we are, “celebs of our social circle.” I’ll take it, I guess.
Onto the critique. This is a doozy. First of all, I fucked up our legs. Mine look like tree trunks, and Jackie looks like she is flexing the shit out of her calf.
It took me a while to place what Jackie’s face looks like in my drawing, but then it dawned on me: she looks like Smitty Webenjagermanjensen from SpongeBob. Jackie: I’m sorry I made you look like a deceased fish. Smitty: RIP.
I also managed to make my glasses extra girthy because I kept messing up the shape and trying to fix it, which resulted in some thicc ass frames. I also tried to get fancy with ~color blending~ because I didn’t have an olive colored pen to color in my binder. My solution was to first use a green marker and then blend in some brown marker to make olive. The flaw with this plan is MARKERS DONT FUCKING BLEND. The result I got is green with obvious brown streaks on top. LIT!!!!!
Besides these small flaws, I managed to bring my artistic eye to the picture, meaning that the people in my drawing are still somewhat recognizable. Also, this post is not sponsored by T.J. Maxx or Marshalls, unfortunately. I am a maxxinista, and I could use the sponsorship or at least some free boys size 14 polos (yes I wear boys size clothes I’m smol and dysphoric about it so let’s drop it).
Next, I drew my girl Miley on her Wrecking Ball. I’ve got a soft spot for Miley. We named our softball team “The Wrecking Balls” after her timeless classic (we created the team when this reference was still super relevant, but I feel like it still works). Party in the USA got me through some tough times in High School. While she can be problematic, her support of veganism and the LGBTQ+ community is great. Thanks, Miley!
I guess creating a really unflattering drawing of her isn’t the best way to say thanks, but I did my best. I actually think out of all the drawings I did for this post, this one is probably the least bad. Sure the proportions are downright horrid, her head is much flatter and larger than it should be, and her body looks like it’s a Bionicle, but her general essence was captured. Her sad, longing eyes are juxtaposed with her sexual swinging on a giant ball. So ~symbolic~. Also, I think I did her hair pretty good (well, at least good when you’re drawing with a ballpoint pen).
If you haven’t listened to Lauren and Halsey’s new song “Strangers” off of Halsey’s new album: YOU MUST! Not only is it a boppin song, it is SO IMPORTANT! Two bisexual women of color coming together to put out an awesome song about women loving women?!?! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP THAT’s sOME gOOD ShITTT RIGHT THere! If you want to know why this song is super important and amazing, read this article.
So Halsey and Lauren: thank you. Creating a pretty horrible drawing that makes Lauren look like an evil doll from a horror film and Halsey into a Neandertal with a goatee might not be the classic way to give thanks, but it’s all I got.
The picture isn’t all bad. I mean sure, I managed to give Lauren 5 separate chins and an eyebrow the size and shape of Long Island. Sure, I gave Halsey the neck of a linebacker. But you could totally tell it’s them if you saw the picture, right? And look at all the small details I managed to include: Halsey and Lauren’s tattoos, the fashion details (i.e the many holes in both of their outfits. Do you think they planned that?), Halsey’s small beauty mark and jewelry. While these details might not look GREAT per se, they are at least THERE. So, there’s that.
Lastly, we have Chase Ross, a trans YouTuber who has helped me in so any ways. His transition and his videos have helped me through such a tough time, helped me understand myself, and also helped me become informed on a variety of issues I was ignorant to.
This drawing is simply unrecognizable. Besides the hair, the drawing just is horrible. Chase: I’m sorry if your eyes are seeing this drawing. This drawing is NOT what you look like.
Also, peep the black earrings I gave him in the picture. Can’t tell in the original photo if those are actually earrings or just the pictures of cats in the background (I’m an idiot).
My dad tried to give me some advice a couple of months ago about drawing noses. He said that most drawings of noses have more to do with shading than with the lines, which is true. However, I apparently decided to take this as “don’t draw any lines”. So the ~minimalist~ nose I gave Chase here looks like he doesn’t have a nose at all, or that his nose was flattened like that guy from Austin Powers who wouldn’t move out of the way in the room of steamrollers.
I think I overestimated the size of his head while simultaneously making his face too small for the proportions to work out. Will I ever learn how to draw proportions correctly? Leaning towards no. Also, the way I’ve drawn his teeth makes him seem like he only has exactly 5 teeth. It reminds me of those fake hillbilly teeth I would wear as a kid.
But let’s end on a positive note. What am I PROUD of? This is the ~~~pride~~~ themed post after all. I thrive on making lists, so let’s do just that.
I’m proud of…
- The hair on all of these drawings. Hair is pretty fucking hard to draw. Go me.
- The pops of color on these drawings. I bought those markers months ago for the specific purpose of making these drawing blog posts, and I thought I wasted my money because I haven’t posted in so long. 5 dollars well spent.
- My writing. Personally, I think I’m fucking funny. Hopefully, these posts make people laugh. I hope my other posts on queer issues have helped people as other people’s posts and videos helped me.
- The fact that I made this post at all. Depression makes things super hard, but I did this anyway. Go me.
- Myself. Things are kind of shitty, but I’m still working and I’m still constantly trying to understand myself. I’ve also been motivated to get up and do things recently, which is a huge step forward for me. #depressedlife
- My queer identity. I love being queer. I love being a part of the LGBTQ+ community. I’m so proud of my identity; I wouldn’t change a thing about myself. Love wins.
Hopefully these posts will become a regular thing again because I really enjoy writing them and drawing for them. Stay tuned! Also, please let me know if you want me to draw you because I’m running out of willing participants.
Be proud, stay strong, love wins, and happy pride!