Tofu Scramble: A Vegan Delight

Ok, so the last couple weeks’ posts have been pretty serious and heavy. Well, this week isn’t any different.


This week, we are talking about eggs.


As a vegan, the one food I really miss is egg. I get so nostalgic just thinking about waking up in the morning before school and smelling the scrambled eggs cooking, or the delicious smell of butter and fried eggs at the greasy diner I would go to with my friends (even though I would always get a stomach ache after eating there).

You can feel the heartburn just looking at this.

Nothing I can eat now really replaces egg. I can make veggie burgers that would fool the most devout meat eater. I can make a vegan cake so moist you’ll wonder how I did it without cow juices. I can create the fudgiest, most perfect brownies out of beans. You can’t even imagine what I can do with a sweet potato. I’m pretty much redefining a creation story over here; Genesis can’t compare to what I can do with a zucchini, some soy milk and a spice rack.


Fried, scrambled, poached, hard-boiled, soft-boiled, sunny side up: these are descriptors of such a unique and amazing food item that even I can’t recreate it.


But, life goes on. We try. I try. And I make Tofu Scramble. Now, some vegans like to say that this is, “just as good as scrambled eggs” and that, “it tastes just like eggs!” This is false. It does not taste like eggs. Not at all.

Photo from

But it is still tasty. Just because Tofu Scramble doesn’t taste like scrambled eggs doesn’t mean that it doesn’t taste damn good! (Especially the way I make it).

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Vegan-Cranky: an Introduction

I suppose it is appropriate to explain what the title of this blog means, because you’re probably thinking it means: “uh oh was already taken.”


While that assumption is partly true, there is a reason for the name “Vegan-Cranky.” Here’s the definition:



/vēɡən kraNGkē/


ill-tempered or irritable because of vegan dietary limitations.

“She is vegan-cranky because the only vegan option at the restaurant is stuffed peppers.”


My girlfriend coined this term after she noticed that I display this behavior at least once per day. It usually involves the following scenario: First, I enter a dining establishment. At my school, that means the dining hall, the small school store, or an area we call “The Pit” (yes, that is really what a place that serves food is called). The Pit, which is particularly disgusting, offers various fast food options and a really sad, wilted salad bar. Then, I look around and realize that all I can get is french fries, salad, or cereal. I start to get annoyed and proceed to point at non-vegan options or people eating non-vegan foods and say, “I wish I could have that” or, “It would be nice if I could eat that.” I keep complaining as I pay for and eat my salad. That is a textbook example of someone being vegan-cranky.

What my school thinks being vegan looks like, probably

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